booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
