can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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