there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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