he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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