2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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