Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Its about making memories worth repressing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize