If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
