How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
