i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
