it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
