I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
