Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize