we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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