i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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