dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
