I think my vagina is haunted
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
