If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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