I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
