I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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