It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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