yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pants are for mortals
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize