glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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