You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
