I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
