one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
