I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
