I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
