I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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