too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
