If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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