well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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