oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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