Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
