I got chris browned last night
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
