i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
