Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
