CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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