you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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