Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
