the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
