JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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