it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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