I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
