can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize