just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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