What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
