Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
