sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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