all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
