I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
