Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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