the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
