You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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