This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
