i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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