somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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