I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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