sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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