if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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