If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
