i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
