quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
