Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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