hotel room ftw
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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