you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
