Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
